Who are you
by NeverEndingFandoms18
Summary: Patsy knows that Delia probably will not remember her after the accident, but then she gets a sliver of hope until her world is torn apart again. spoilers for s4, i do not own CTM... ABANDONED, please see my profile for more info but please feel free to read


Who are you?

 **I do not own Call the Midwife. Any mistakes are my own. Spoilers for end of series 4.**

She does not know who I am. I do not think she will ever know who I am. Ever again.

She once told me she would not know what she would so without me. Now she cannot even remember me. However, I remember her. And all that has happened between us. And what might have been. Now I have to carry on without her. For the rest of my life. And she will never even know I existed.

Then there was a cry for help from Delia's mother and a few doctors and nurses rushed in. I stood up; I could feel my legs shaking. A nurse halted me from going in, so I had to watch from the doorway as Delia had one of her seizures.

It was horrible. I could feel my heart breaking as I watched. Tears running down my face. My nails digging into my skin as she convulsed and cried out on the bed.

Eventually, it seemed like an age. The nurses and doctors slowly left the room. Delia's mother was sat on the bed, clutching her daughters hand tightly.

She looked up; she must have known I was stood there. "patsy…I am sorry you had to witness that. But they are becoming less frequent; the doctors tell me that is a good thing."

"I am a qualified nurse Mrs Busby; I can assure you it is nothing I have seen before." My voice came out a lot stronger than I intended. I sounded confidant and in control, but I was actually falling to pieces. The older woman smiled at me, maybe I convinced her. Delia had always said I was better with façades than she was. "If you would like Mrs Busby…" I said, finding myself step into the room. "…I could sit with Delia for a while? If you would like to get a cup of tea from the canteen. You look worn out."

She gave Delia's hand a squeeze and stood up. 2thank you Patsy. I will do just that." She said, looking down. "Aren't your own family worried about you?"

I smiled sadly, remembering everyone at Nonnatus House. "I have been given some compassionate leave by Sister Julienne. She knows I am here and will go home when I feel ready."

"They sound nice, the Sisters."

"Oh yes Mrs Busby, they are. I am well looked after there."

She walked over to me and squeezed my arm. "If it is all the same with you, I think I might head back to my lodgings. My husband will be worried and well if you are planning to stay for a while…"

I smiled, one of my best smiles to reassure her. I used it for the patients of Poplar, whenever they were scared, unconvinced, or anxious. "I will keep an eye on her. I promise."

With one sad last look at her daughter, Mrs Busby picked up her coat, handbag, and left, closing the door behind her gently.

My eyes were fixed on the flowers sat on the bedside table. I walked over to them I sniffed, feeling the tears rise up again. Someone rearranged them properly. Whoever had put them in the vase had obviously just chucked them in. Delia deserved more than that.

I turned and looked at her. Her hair was just simply tied at the back of her head, her fringe pushed right back, exposing her forehead and making her look ten years younger.

I took the heard back seat next to the bed and held onto her hand. I sniffed, feeling the tears rising up once more. I looked more closely at her; someone had taken her necklace off.

A sob rose up and I bit it back quickly. I gave her that necklace. It was not really a necklace. I gave Delia a ring to show our commitment to each other. Even though we could not marry each other, I had wanted us both to be reminded of our love. She always wore that thing. She told me, that at night she took it off the chain and wore it on her ring finger. We had laughed about the numerous times she had forgotten to take it off and people had asked whom the lucky man was.

I turned my head and my eye caught a glimpse of her locker. I let her hand go and turned to open it. There was a few of her belongings. Her purse, her watch, her hat.

And there it was. Lying in her hat. The ring on the chain that I gave her. I picked it up gently and brought it to my lips. My mind flashed back, to the dance where Delia had said she wanted us both to dance. _We will just have to dance together in our heads._ Then to the time, she stormed out of that cafe we always went to. I was so scared that she wanted to settle down, get married, buy a house, and have children. I was worried over nothing. _With you, you fool._ She confirmed all my hopes, dreams, and plans. Only in secret, we could be together.

I screwed my eyes shut as memories of the flat came into my mind. It was all going to be so perfect. It would have been our home. Fresh flowers and coffee in the morning, waving each other off in the morning. And welcome home on the evening.

Then that happened. And my life fell apart in a blink of any eye. She would not remember me.

"Hello?"

That welsh singsong voice. God I had missed it. I turned, Delia was sat up. Some of her fringe had fallen forwards and she almost looked normal. Then there were the cuts, scratches, and bruises on her beautiful face.

"What are you doing with that?"

I looked down at the ring and its chain in my hand. I turned round and kneeled next to her bed. "Delia, do you know what this is?" I asked. I held it out to her.

She tilted her head to the side for a moment and then took it. She lifted it up to the light and smiled. I saw recognition flow over her face and a small piece of the twinkle was back in her eyes.

"Yes. I know what this is." She smiled and took it off the chain. She pushed it gently on her finger and admired it. "It's from Patsy. She gave it to me as a present. To show we would always love each other. Even though we can't marry."

I let my head drop and let the tears run down my face. "Oh Delia, you do not know how much this means to me." I looked up and took her hand, kissing it gently. I could feel relief running through me. Maybe things were not as bad as I thought they would be. Maybe she would remember me.

Then she snatched her hand away and sat upright. The twinkle in her eyes had gone. She looked like child. Scared, confused and frightened. I felt my heart break all over again.

"Who are you? Where is patsy? I want to see Patsy" I need to see her!"

The doctors and nurses rushed back in. I was yanked to my feet and pushed out, only regaining my balance when I held onto the wall. Delia was having another seizure, more violent this time.

 _Oh god. Delia._

 _Please be all right._

 _I do not know what I would do without you._

 _I love you Delia Busby._

 _I love you too Patience Mount._

 **I will be adding more chapters. Reviews are always welcome.**


End file.
